Dear Diary,
Day 40 has arrived in quarantine.
This is the status:
Older Teen is antsy as the day is long….going on long drives, complaining of lonliness, walking around a bit forlornly. Who can blame her? This is supposed to be the second semester of her senior year: a time to spend far too much time with her friends socializing in lieu of working constantly. While the work load has eased up some due to both the time of year and the pandemic, work continues to be assigned and there is essentially no time with friends. To make matters slightly worse, some of her friends are ignoring the shelter in place order and hanging out. I’ve got to find a way to get right with this parenting style, because as of today, I find it wildly irresponsible–a terrible example of social responsibility for our kids and a self centered response to the sacrifices the rest of us are making to move to beyond the pandemic–what’s the lesson here? The rules apply to everyone…except my kids? (As of today, I have not mastered this anger…)
Younger Teen is doing well–she’s established a routine that includes exercise, work and play. She is spending lots of time with older sister–which is a boon, something she definitely wouldn’t have if we weren’t being ordered to stay home.
Husband has been on many conference calls, and when he’s not working with clients, is working in the garden and spoiling dogs.
I continue to search for some measure of equanimity with respect to my health issues. Continually reminding myself that I have no control over my heart issues slowly works its way deeper into my psyche, giving me more calm about the arrhythmia’s that continue to visit me.
And the slower pace of each day creates a space in which to notice the accumulation of small daily changes in the world around me (new plants flowering, a backyard that’s slowly being consumed by grass, a coyote sighting) and changes in myself: a nano-increase in the time before I respond to negative news, an awareness of the good fortune to go another day with my family’s health, more or less, in tact.
Until Tomorrow